Going Through Separation And Divorce

[Goldtarget]

About to head back to counseling with Mrs GT as we have gone downhill into a severe rocky patch . Spent some time reading through these stories again, helps to realize I'm not alone. I dunno lads these bloody relationships can be hard work, just when you think you got things figured out it all changes. Thanks for giving me strength through sharing. What a fantastic bunch of blokes.

 

[Guest]

About to head back to counseling with Mrs GT as we have gone downhill into a severe rocky patch . Spent some time reading through these stories again, helps to realize I'm not alone. I dunno lads these bloody relationships can be hard work, just when you think you got things figured out it all changes. Thanks for giving me strength through sharing. What a fantastic bunch of blokes.

They say "LOVE" conquers all but it's our behaviour that gets in the way, so something we need to do is to communicate and compromise on things in our relationships.

All the best to those who are still together, as we all go through the good times and the bad times.

 

[rom]

Yeah...you're right... it's behaviour that gets in the way.... and really makes all the difference... especially if it's psychotic....

 

[Poorey]

For me, Im just glad its over.

 

[rom]

For me, Im just glad its over.

Nothing truer could be said for myself as well.

 

[Chiron52]

So now single for about 4 months (and happy to admit i have depression) and every day is as tough as the next. Night time is the hardest, a sooky kind of bloke that loved cuddles and being loved. Pretty private guy so use mum and dad as my rock.

I know where your coming from mate. I f you don't get depressed when life kicks you in the teeth ..... you never have any feelings at all. I think most blokes on here would agree (even if they are too mucho to admit it) that we love a cuddle. AND, there is no better feeling in life than loving and being loved in return.

One thing I've learnt from life is - if a relationship is important to you, you must always work at it.
When you think life is great and you just let your relationship coast along, you've blown it.
I gave my partner space so she can cope with the worry of having ill parents and being under stress at her work.
I was always there for her if she needed my support.
Next thing I knew, I'm being told our relationship has ended. She doesn't need me any more, after 20+ years.
Oh well, maybe it's time to go bush and dig some holes. And I might dust off the fishing tackle as well.
Cheers,
Dave.

 

[More Leadshot]

So now single for about 4 months (and happy to admit i have depression) and every day is as tough as the next. Night time is the hardest, a sooky kind of bloke that loved cuddles and being loved. Pretty private guy so use mum and dad as my rock.

I know where your coming from mate. I f you don't get depressed when life kicks you in the teeth ..... you never have any feelings at all. I think most blokes on here would agree (even if they are too mucho to admit it) that we love a cuddle. AND, there is no better feeling in life than loving and being loved in return.

One thing I've learnt from life is - if a relationship is important to you, you must always work at it.
When you think life is great and you just let your relationship coast along, you've blown it.
I gave my partner space so she can cope with the worry of having ill parents and being under stress at her work.
I was always there for her if she needed my support.
Next thing I knew, I'm being told our relationship has ended. She doesn't need me any more, after 20+ years.
Oh well, maybe it's time to go bush and dig some holes. And I might dust off the fishing tackle as well.
Cheers,
Dave.

Cheers Dave
You sound like a man of my own heart, getting my settlement finalized, buying a new setup ( wheels and something to live in) and hopefully have some change to just go bush for a while. Will all take time but when sorted will plan something and let PA Members know and if anyone wants to tag along there welcome.
Cheers Jamie

 

[LONEWOLF]

Dave, Sorry to hear this, Im stunned.. ..... I think you should Brush the dust off the fishing rods and head out there... You also need some space.... :Y:

LW....

 

[Chiron52]

Moved into my own place this week.
So busy getting things sorted I haven't had time to think about recent events.
I just wanted to give a big shout out to Mr. and Mrs. reefer and also to Rom, for being there for me during a difficult time. :Y: :Y: :Y: :Y: :Y:
Meeting up with you good people for lunch, or coffees and a chat, was good therapy.
Though we haven't known each other very long, I think I've made some friends for life. :Y:
And thanks also to the other PA members above for your kind words too. :Y:
What a great bunch of people there are to be found on this forum.
Cheers,
Dave.

 

[Mackka]

Well done Chiron and special thanks to Mr. and Mrs, Reefer and Rom for looking after this bloke when he needed friends.
Very special
Mackka

 

[BigWave]

I went through all that hell 15 years back, and though losing my love, found renewed love through my kids, comrades, bush life and dogs.
Now I have no one to report to but myself and my maker. I'll retire this month, so my plans will be my plans, and my time will be my time.
Best wishes to all going through that phase. There is an after-life.

 

[pagan prospector]

soo true BigWave even after learning to cope/live for yourself deep down its still nice to share with someone special (when they come along)get on better with kelpies border collies and cattle dogs though so that suits me now i definitely aint complaining
Pagan P

 

[burkenotwills]

All you guys are inspirational for sharing stories when your life has been completely turned upside down.
I'm back on PA after nearly 4 years absence due to a marriage breakdown. Found out she was having an affair 2 weeks before our 19th anniversary. I was gutted. More importantly 3 kids who's lives where also affected dramatically by this. It was like my ex changed overnight when I found out. I didn't know who this person was anymore, we'd been together 23 years. I got full custody of our 3 daughters and everything I have done in this time has been for them and nothing else. I went through the depression stage but got some help through counselling, and would recommend anyone to get professional help. Family and friends are good to lean on but they are emotionally involved so it's good to be able to talk to someone who's not. I also had the kids in counselling as I felt I couldn't talk/answer questions they had without getting angry. They also didn't want to talk to me about things, they were able to open up to the counselor as everything was kept confidential. The counselor only spoke to me about their sessions if she felt it was absolutely necessary, which was hardly ever.
I have moved on and am in a new relationship with an amazing woman. She wasn't aware of my prospecting bug until recently and encouraged me to get back into it. I only have an xterra705 atm but looking to upgrade to a gpx4500 as the price for them is really good atm. I'm a few hours drive from anywhere decent to prospect but when I get the upgrade it will be worth the drive. I lost my blue bowl and river sluice in the separation, but will make them myself again soon.
Stay strong and keep your head high guys.

 

[Jaros]

We are all here in case you want to talk mate. Keep well.

 

[Mackka]

Welcome back BNW
Mackka

 

[BigWave]

No partner for me these days - I am just me.
I have my kids, dogs and hobbies in my retirement, and that will do.
Who needs more?

 

[Mackka]

We all love you BW.
Stay safe mate.
Mackka

 

[Ward69]

Totally understand mate. Going thou the same thing With out help. It's hard Every Day I keep busy not to think about what was! To move on Its life. Move on to the next stage. Find gold Be happy

 

[diggit]

"Getting together and having kids is an upstream struggle,
We only come together, breed and maybe brush fins for a while until either the current or death separates us"

"Granted, sometimes it's truly hard to bear......"

"But every now and then, truthfully, it's not so bad and can actually give you a really good second wind...."

 

[Chiron52]

I went through the depression stage but got some help through counselling, and would recommend anyone to get professional help. Family and friends are good to lean on but they are emotionally involved so it's good to be able to talk to someone who's not. I also had the kids in counselling as I felt I couldn't talk/answer questions they had without getting angry. They also didn't want to talk to me about things, they were able to open up to the counselor as everything was kept confidential. The counselor only spoke to me about their sessions if she felt it was absolutely necessary, which was hardly ever.

Welcome back mate,
Can totally agree with you about counseling. A few months after my first marriage "went south", I hit probably the lowest ever point in my life. I was a total wreck emotionally. A friend recommended I seek counseling. Well, I turned up for my appointment only to be confronted by a young woman half my age. I thought ...... WTF. Anyhow, to get to the point, we chatted a bit about nothing important and before I realised it, I was spilling my whole life story while the lady kept quiet and let me ramble on.
I walked out of that place floating on air, feeling that the weight of the world had lifted from my shoulders. Amazing what just talking to someone can achieve. Sure it took time to fully heal but it got me on the right track.
So yes, seeking professional counseling can sure help to heal a wounded soul. :Y: