Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills
back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think,
since Im going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the
can of Beer Id been drinking.
Im going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I dont accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eyethey need water.
I put the beer on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
Ive been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first Im going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
Ill be looking for the remote,
but I wont remember that its on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first Ill water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isnt washed
the bills arent paid
there is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers dont have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I cant find the remote,
I cant find my glasses,
and I dont remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
Im really baffled because I know I was busy all the damn day,
and Im really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,
and Ill try to get some help for it,
but first Ill check my e-mail.
Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I dont remember who the hell Ive sent it to.
Dont laugh if this isnt you yet, your day is coming!!
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills
back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think,
since Im going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the
can of Beer Id been drinking.
Im going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I dont accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eyethey need water.
I put the beer on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
Ive been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first Im going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
Ill be looking for the remote,
but I wont remember that its on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first Ill water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isnt washed
the bills arent paid
there is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers dont have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I cant find the remote,
I cant find my glasses,
and I dont remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
Im really baffled because I know I was busy all the damn day,
and Im really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,
and Ill try to get some help for it,
but first Ill check my e-mail.
Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I dont remember who the hell Ive sent it to.
Dont laugh if this isnt you yet, your day is coming!!
